When a writer (like you) is first drafting an essay, they often end up writing paragraphs that don’t help the reader as much as they should. For example, the claim may appear in the middle or at the end of the paragraph rather than at the beginning. The exercise “Rearranging/Reconfiguring” helps writers determine whether the order in which they have fitted sentences into a paragraph works or if another order is better (note: this technique can also be used at the scale of an essay or a section of an essay by applying it to whole paragraphs). In general, the paragraph that is most helpful to a reader has a predictable structure. (1) It begins with a topic sentence that articulates the paragraph’s guiding claim or purpose; (2) through the middle of the paragraph, it has sentences that dive into evidence and the analysis of that evidence, and/or sentences that lay out the reasoning in support of the guiding claim; and (3) it ends with a conclusion that recalls the guiding claim in a way that adds to it. Using this revision technique can make it easier to restructure a paragraph so that it conveys its meaning more clearly to readers. It is also a great way to step away from the screen and still write. Below, you’ll find directions for cutting up a paragraph or a section as well as an example. Note that with the example, we’ve noted where wording needs to be rephrased in order to achieve a seamless transition between sentences.
Paragraph-level rearranging — Print out a paragraph, and cut out each sentence. Mix up the sentences, and then put them together in what seems like the most logical order. (You can make notes on the paper if you need to add or remove anything.)
Section-level rearranging — Print out a section and cut out each paragraph. Mix up the paragraphs, and then put them together in what seems like the most logical order. (You can make notes on the paper if you need to add anything.)
Example:
Original paragraph:
Although Singleton appears to critique plantation society and argue for the integrity and humanity of the enslaved, his descriptions of several animals, plants, and other living things in the Caribbean complicate and compromise his argument. I contend that when Singleton describes a plant or animal, he is using that object as an emblem to reveal his confusion regarding the enslavement of Africans and his terror of the enslaved. For example, Singleton describes a cocoa tree and uses sublime terms. Cocoa trees were commonly used as emblems for considering enslaved Africans, but although Singleton’s use of the sublime ought to lead him to consider the immorality of enslaving other peoples, Singleton, instead, denigrates the tree finding it ugly and repulsive. Likewise, embedded within a sublime description of a cave in which escaped slaves were known to hide, Singleton concentrates on a sea anemone, revealing that he cannot maintain a strict notion of the boundaries between plants, animals, and humans. There are several other sublime descriptions of plants and animals, each of which present emblematic meaning along with several very vivid rants against plantation society. All told, there is a tension between Singleton’s use of sublime imagery and the messages he places within his emblems.
The sentences of the paragraph are mixed up in no particular order:
Likewise, embedded within a sublime description of a cave in which escaped slaves were known to hide, Singleton concentrates on a sea anemone, revealing that he cannot maintain a strict notion of the boundaries between plants, animals, and humans.
For example, Singleton describes a cocoa tree and uses sublime terms.
All told, there is a tension between Singleton’s use of sublime imagery and the messages he places within his emblems.
Although Singleton appears to critique plantation society and argue for the integrity and humanity of the enslaved, his descriptions of several animals, plants, and other living things in the Caribbean — all of which are couched in sublime imagery — complicate and compromise his argument.
There are several other sublime descriptions of plants and animals, each of which presents emblematic meaning along with several very vivid rants against plantation society.
I contend that when Singleton describes a plant or animal, he is using that object as an emblem to reveal his confusion regarding the enslavement of Africans and his terror of the enslaved.
Cocoa trees were commonly used as emblems for considering enslaved Africans, but although Singleton’s use of the sublime ought to lead him to consider the immorality of enslaving other peoples, Singleton, instead, denigrates the tree finding it ugly and repulsive.
Reassembled paragraph:
Although Singleton appears to critique plantation society and argue for the integrity and humanity of the enslaved, his descriptions of several animals, plants, and other living things in the Caribbean — all of which are couched in sublime imagery — complicate and compromise his argument. All told, there is a tension between Singleton’s use of sublime imagery and the messages he places within his descriptions. For example, Singleton describes a cocoa tree and uses sublime terms. Cocoa trees were commonly used as emblems for considering enslaved Africans, but although Singleton’s use of the sublime ought to lead him to consider the terrifying inhumanity of enslaving other peoples, Singleton, instead, denigrates the tree finding it ugly and repulsive. [Thus hinting that enslaved Africans are likewise, ugly and repulsive.] There are several other sublime descriptions of plants and animals, each of which presents emblematic meaning along with several very vivid rants against plantation society. Perhaps part of Singleton’s difficulty lies in the fact that he cannot commit to the fact that enslaved Africans are human beings. For example, embedded within a sublime description of a cave in which escaped slaves were known to hide, Singleton concentrates on a sea anemone, revealing that he cannot maintain a strict notion of the boundaries between plants, animals, and humans. Thus, I contend that when Singleton describes a plant or animal, he is using that object as an emblem to reveal his confusion regarding the enslavement of Africans and his terror of the enslaved.
Some notes:
- As you can see, we switched the placement of the second and last sentences of the original paragraph. Now, the last sentence of the original paragraph is the second sentence of the revised paragraph and the second sentence of the original paragraph is the last sentence of the revised paragraph. We did this for two reasons: a) The new last sentence is a much stronger conclusion to the paragraph than the old last sentence. It makes a strong and definitive statement. The old last sentence is not as strong — it vaguely refers to “a tension” and “a message.” But when paired with the first sentence of that paragraph, it lets the reader know what to expect from the paragraph: examples and analysis that proves a tension in the work being analyzed. Think of it this way, the opening of the paragraph should inform the reader of what will be argued and the end of a paragraph should expand upon the argument and begin the transition to the next paragraph. In the revised paragraph, the author argued that there is a tension and after a few examples, the author was able to conclude that the tension has to do with what used to be a taboo subject — slavery.
- As you can see, after the author’s analysis of the cocoa tree, we suggested a new sentence in the comment section. We made this choice because we felt that the example required more analysis — more explanation of why it is relevant to the argument.
- We also moved the second-to-last sentence of the original paragraph so that it now appears between the two examples, and we added an additional sentence whose point is to introduce the last piece of evidence. The rest of the section of which this paragraph is part concentrates on the second example of this paragraph — the sea anemone. Because this example is integral to the chapter as a whole, we decided that it was important to do some groundwork first and highlight the importance of this example.
- Reassembling, physically moving sentences around, is a helpful revising tool because it forces us to approach our writing as if we are reading it for the first time. When we approach revising simply by reading our work from beginning to end, we tend to overlook mistakes and awkward phrasing because we are so accustomed to our own voice, subject matter, and thoughts that we cannot see logical gaps or awkward paragraphs. In addition, reassembling paragraphs and sections forces us to confront our writing and ask ourselves “is there a better way to say what I want to say?” Psychologically, it is difficult to confront a paragraph or section we have written with the intent to move things around. It is much easier to revise a paragraph or a section if it is jumbled up already.
